Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Pie, I like pie
This last weekend, Mr. K went to write that in reference to himself and I couldn't let him say that. He does not like pumpkin or apple pie - he likes strawberry and pecan. I like them all and more. Therefore, he needed to modify his statement. However, my liking all pies allows me to make the wide, sweeping statement that I would not allow him.
Did anyone wonder what was to become of the pumpkin Cat-in-the-Hat? Well we are going to make him into a pie and eat him. Bear witness to our barbarian butchery - it is so Titus Andronicus. mmm, delicious.
Check out out next victim. This should yield quite a feast.
And now a few words from The Bard: (imagine an angry, broken Anthony Hopkins performing this)
Titus: Oh villains, Chiron and Demetrius. Here stands the spring whom you have stained with mud, this goodly summer with your winter mixed. You killed her husband, and for that vile fault two of her brothers were condemned to death, my hand cut off and made a merry jest, both her sweet hands, her tongue, and that more dear than hands or tongue, her spotless chastity, inhuman traitors, you constrained and forced. What would you say if I should let you speak? Villains, for shame, you could not beg for grace. Hark, wretches, how I mean to martyr you. This one hand yet is left to cut your throats whilst that Lavinia, 'tween her stumps doth hold the basin that receives your guilty blood. You know, your mother means to feast with me and calls herself Revenge and thinks me mad. Hark, villains. I shall grind your bones to dust, and with your blood and it I shall make a paste, and of the paste a coffin I will rear and make two pastries of your shameful heads. And bid that strumpet, your unhallowed dam, like to the earth, swallow her own increase! This is the feast I have bid her to, and this the banquet she shall surfeit on... And now prepare your throats.